Preferences / File Operations / Progress Indicators / Minimize progress indicators
If you change the command to Copy QUEUE=MyQueue it will always queue to "MyQueue" no matter what, instead of the automatic queuing based on destination it does by default.
Opus 12 (which you can try now in beta, and will get for free if you buy Opus 11 now) also provides a way for scripts to decide the queue, so you could have a very simple script which made it so every copy command used the same queue. On Opus 11, you'd need to edit the toolbar Copy and Move buttons (if you use them), and the drag & drop events (if you use them; Settings > File Types), and the Ctrl-V hotkey (if you copy files that way; Clipboard PASTE COPYQUEUE=MyQueue).
You should not have to manually refresh, assuming the thing at the other end (e.g. a NAS server) reports change events correctly. See here to troubleshoot.